Cartoon Saturday

Can you believe we're almost halfway through May, and closing in on halfway through 2013? I think I need a drink.

Focusing their full attention and energy like a laser beam on the problems and issues most affecting average Americans, Republicans in Congress have sprung into action to ... beat the Administration savagely with a Benghazi stick; in Cleveland, three young women held captive for more than ten years escaped, along with a six year old child fathered by the man who kidnapped them and imprisoned them in his home; the death toll in the collapse of a sweatshop factory in Dakka, Bangladesh, has risen to more than 1000, even as a woman was pulled from the wreckage on Friday - miraculously alive after being buried for 16 days; after cemeteries in Boston and surrounding cities and states refused to accept his body for burial, accused Boston Marathon bomber Tamarlan Tsarnaev was finally buried in a cemetery in Virginia; and 78,000 people have applied so far for seats on a one-way trip to Mars projected for the year 2023*.

Every week, we need the cartoons more and more ... let's get to them ...

For our theme cartoon selections this week, how about a look at the cautionary tale of Humpty-Dumpty ...

There's the artistic version ...

The tale told from the point of view of all the king's men ...

And some of those who may run to help may also have an ulterior motive ...

I think a lot of parents can appreciate the black humor in this one ...

It happened on the Jurassic Parkway ...

I never thought about the cascading bad effects of too much texting, not being a serial texter myself, but apparently some music teachers have ...

I guess this is one of those freedoms most appreciated and enjoyed by our elected officials ...

Did you ever wonder what some of those mythological characters were really like, and what they did outside of the tales we learn in school? Here's an example ...

None of us are getting any younger ... even our silver screen heroes ...

And finally, one of my favorite movie quotes comes from Cary Grant in the classic film "Arsenic and Old Lace" - "Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops!" I have a similar view, and often think I have a great deal in common with this fellow ...

 And that's it for this week's edition of Cartoon Saturday. I hope you are looking forward to as calm and relaxing a weekend as you can manage, and are making your plans to honor The Lady tomorrow on Mothers' Day. Come back then for my traditional Mothers' Day post.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Sadly, the people who are protesting the horrible tyranny under which they are forced to live in this despotic America do not appear to have signed up. You'd think they'd be happy to go someplace where there are no laws, no illegal immigrants, and they can have all the guns they want.

Think Before Shooting Off One's Mouth; or, Before Using Mouth, Be Sure Brain Is Engaged

From the Department of How Utterly Stupid Can You Get comes this amazing story: Protest Group Plans July 4 March on Washington with Loaded Rifles.

Oy.

Iraq war veteran and Internet talk show host Adam Kokesh is organizing thousands of protesters to march into Washington, DC on Independence Day with loaded rifles slung on their backs. According to Mr Kokesh, writing on his website,

“We will march with rifles loaded and flung across our backs to put the government on notice that we will not be intimidated and cower in submission to tyranny. We are marching to mark the high water mark of government & to turn the tide. This will be a non-violent event, unless the government chooses to make it violent. Should we meet physical resistance, we will peacefully turn back, having shown that free people are not welcome in Washington. . . . We are truly saying in the SUBTLEST way possible that we would rather die on our feet than live on our knees.”

A few thoughts ...

First of all, the thought of thousands of armed extremists does not bring to mind the word "subtle."

Second, Mr Kokesh ... and those who believe as he does ... have absolutely no concept of what tyranny is. If you want tyranny, consider Nazi Germany* or Stalinist Russia or the Uganda of Idi Amin. If tyranny means any set of laws that prevents you from doing whatever you want, whenever you want to do it, without any restrictions, then yes - you are living in a tyranny.

Between 1980 and 1982 I lived and worked in what was then called the city of West Berlin. Those of you who are old enough will recall that West Berlin was a city completely surrounded by a well-guarded wall known to the East German government as the "Anti-Fascist Protective Rampart (Antifaschistischer Schutzmauer), and to the rest of the world as The Berlin Wall. People attempting to leave East Berlin by climbing over that barrier were subject to death ... and, in fact, at least one person was killed by East German Border guards while I lived there.

If you want tyranny, Mr Kokesh, try that on for size.

I know the sort of spittle-punctuated hysterical rhetoric my comments would generate in far-right circles. Too bad. I have written often enough about my support for all of our Constitutionally-guaranteed rights ... not just the much-abused right to "keep and bear arms" enshrined in the Bill of Rights. But as I learned many years ago in grade-school and high-school Civics lessons**, there's a difference between freedom and license***, as much as many people nowadays tend to ignore the distinction. With freedom comes responsibility.

And, in my opinion, equating the rule of law with "tyranny" is irresponsible.

Staging a march by thousands of armed people spoiling for a fight with what they view as a tyrannical government, is irresponsible.

Spouting wild conspiracy theories and political buffoonery without any foundation in history or in common sense, is irresponsible.

The Constitution guarantees us many freedoms. Sadly, it does not also guarantee that a degree of intelligence and personal responsibility will come along with those freedoms.

Six grandchildren I love deeply are growing up in a country full of heavily-armed, hate-filled idiots who have no idea what they're talking about, shouting slogans at each other in a self-perpetuating quasi-intellectual echo chamber that just reinforces their own fears and prejudices.

And that scares me a lot more than the imaginary bugbear of a tyrannical government.

I'm glad I'll be out of town on the 4th of July.

Have a good day. Think for yourself, rather than parroting dumb slogans and irresponsibly twisted historical fantasies.

See you back here again on Cartoon Saturday.

Bilbo

* That would be the real Nazi Germany, that built concentration camps, engaged in genocide, and triggered the war that killed tens of millions, not the imaginary Nazi Germany of right-wing (and left-wing) extremist fantasies, in which anyone opposing what one wants to do is frivolously called a "Nazi" and compared to Adolf Hitler.

** Any of you old enough to remember those? Too bad we don't teach good citizenship any more.

*** One definition: "Freedom that allows or is used with irresponsibility; disregard for standards of personal conduct, licentiousness."

Odds and Ends About Language

I normally wouldn't be posting today, but since I have an 8 AM dental appointment and don't have to go to work first, I thought I'd use the bonus time to ruminate on one of my favorite subjects: language. Read on, if you're so inclined ...

As a linguist and a lover of language, I found this article from Time Magazine to be very interesting: Understanding How the Brain Speaks Two Languages. There has long been debate about how we acquire language - if our brains are hard-wired from birth to find and master the patterns of sounds we hear those around us make, or if we just learn by memorization and repetition. And why can some people master multiple languages easily, while others struggle with just their native tongue? This is not a subject of interest just to those of us who love linguistic arcana ... wouldn't it be useful to understand how it is that politicians can speak out of both sides of their mouths and never be called out on it? The ability to speak more than one language is undeniably an advantage, not only for travelers who need to find the nearest bathroom or train station, but for coping with the unprecedented flood of refugees and immigrants, most of whom speak little or no English. Here's a question - how many of you, Dear Readers, can speak* more than one language?

Staying with the topic of languages, science writer Tia Ghose wrote about the search for the Original Language in LiveScience: Before Babel? Ancient Mother Tongue Reconstructed. Ms Ghose describes the linguistic detective work suggesting that the ancestors of people from across Europe and Asia may have spoken a common language. The Bible, in Genesis 11:1-9**, tells the story of makind's attempt to build a tower to heaven, and how God scrambled their languages as punishment for their hubris ...

Reconstructive linguistics provides evidence for the existence of a single, common language spoken by people as far back as 15,000 years ago by tracing the history of words common to many languages, such as mother. This is related to the search for the hypothetical language called Proto-Indo-European, thought to be the common ancestor of the modern Indo-European languages spoken across Europe and south Asia.

Interested in languages, alphabets, writing systems, and related stuff? You can lose yourself in a wonderful website called Omniglot***.

Not interested in languages, alphabets, writing systems, and related stuff? Come back tomorrow for thoughts on another topic.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* By "speak," I mean, "be able to communicate on a basic level," not necessarily "deliver a major speech on higher mathematics."

** This is, of course, the story of the Tower of Babel. This cautionary tale gives us the word babble to describe confused and nonsensical speech, such as Republican economic theories, the Democratic party platform in general, and almost anything from Glenn Beck.

*** If you visit the Omniglot website and select "Links," it will take you to a large number of other fascinating language-related sites. It also has the usual list of disclaimers about lack of responsibility for external sites, and contains this fascinating disclaimer: "Some sites may contain traces of nuts."

(Don't) Gimme That Old Time Religion ...

It is said that there are two subjects one should never discuss at dinner (or, indeed, at many other times): politics and religion. This can make it difficult to have a conversation with a far-right Republican, but given the quality of discourse on both sides of the political and religious divide, this may not be a bad thing.

Those of you who have been reading this blog for any length of time know that I am not a conventionally religious person. It's a worldview that I've come to over the decades as I've watched the hideous things done in the name of religion ... in the name of the idea that anyone who doesn't believe this way and no other is automatically bad (at best) or liable to be killed outright (at worst). You can read some of my earlier diatribes here and here if you're so inclined.

Consider this recent event: At Least 27 Dead in Bangladesh Blasphemy Law Rioting. Yes, hysterical mobs in Dakka, Bangladesh, rioted and murdered dozens of people, insisting on the imposition of an anti-blasphemy law that would punish persons who defame Islam with death.

Consider also the disgusting, widely-condemned bigotry of the Westboro Baptist Church, the members of which press their belief in what they believe is the sin of homosexuality by demonstrating at the funerals of people who have nothing at all to do with the subject.

The linkage of deeply fundamentalist religion and violence was explored in this compilation of articles and studies at Religion Link.

Bottom line: to all too many people, religion is not a guiding philosophy or an exhortation to "love one another as I have loved you."* It's an excuse to draw wide red lines between people and whip up hatred of "the other."

So thanks, but don't bother giving me that old-time religion. Especially if you think it empowers you to kill me if I choose not to believe your version of it. With all the problems we have in the world, this is one we just don't need.

Have a good day. Live the Golden Rule. It's all you really need.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* John 15:12.

In Which We Name a New "Ass Clown of the Month"

It's been a month since we last presented the coveted Ass Clown of the Month award to Republican Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky for his principled, high-road approach to shutting down potential opposition to his reelection. Since then there have been many worthy candidates clamoring for attention and the ACOM designation. The Senate was an early favorite, based on the strength of its spineless cave to the gun lobby in defeating every single attempt to reduce gun violence, but it's been edged out by the amazing display of overheated rhetoric displayed by the two individuals who have tied - yes tied - for the award for this month. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the joint winners of the Ass Clown of the Month Award for May, 2013:

"Great Successor" and "Respected General"

Kim Jong-un of North Korea

and, in a repeat of his spectacular performance in winning the Ass Clown of the Year Award for 2012,

National Rifle Association Executive Vice President

Wayne LaPierre

For their proven mastery of ridiculously paranoid, over-the-top rhetoric geared to getting the maximum amount of attention with the minimum amount of rational thought and behavior, Mr Kim ("throw all enemies into a cauldron, break their waists and crush their windpipes!") and Mr LaPierre ("We are in the midst of a once-in-a-generation fight for everything we care about. We have a chance to secure our freedom for a generation, or to lose it forever. We must remain vigilant, ever resolute, and steadfastly growing and preparing for the even more critical battles that loom before us.") share the May 2013 honor as Ass Clown of the Month.

Well done, gentlemen! May you rise to ever-higher levels of lofty buffoonery.

As for the rest of this day, Agnes and I will be heading out shortly to cheer on our friends who are competing in the final day of the Washington Open DanceSport Competition, followed by a few hours of (hopefully) just chilling and relaxing after yesterday's marathon of ziplining, soccer playing*, musical chairs, and other activities utterly unsuitable for the over-60 crowd with our local grandchildren. I hurt in places I'd forgotten I had places ... good thing Ben-Gay ointment comes in 55-gallon drums.

Have a good day. More thoughts on Tuesday.

Bilbo

* Actually, more like racing around the yard, flailing at a large ball and laughing hysterically.

Cartoon Saturday

Welcome to May ...

Raging wildfires described as a "Devil's inferno" and "nearly uncontrollable" threatened thousands of homes near Los Angeles; a civilian-operated Boeing 747 cargo jet crashed in Afghanistan in a horrifying accident caught on dashboard video, while a few days later a KC-135 air refueling aircraft crashed in Kyrgyzstan; in Houston, a man armed with a semiautomatic pistol fired numerous shots into the ceiling of the airport departure area, fortunately not harming anyone else before killing himself; and a North Korean court has sentenced a U.S. citizen to 15 years of hard labor, charging him with committing unspecified "hostile acts" against the hermit kingdom.

Well, so much for May being an improvement over April. We need cartoons, and we need them now...

For our selection of theme cartoons this week, let's look at cartoons featuring numbers, letters, and symbols, which can be funnier than you might suspect ...

Who was behind the 8 ball here ...?

A little cosmetic surgery can help improve one's image in a lot of ways ...

I never completely understood the concept of imaginary numbers until I started watching members of Congress and political pundits throw statistics at each other ...

And lastly, I thought this one was a particularly clever pun on a lot of different levels ...

You need the right truck to carry the load ...

Do you suppose God would have fooled around with burning bushes and stone tablets if he'd had a Facebook page or an e-mail or Twitter account ... ?

Paging Congressman Paul ... Congressman Rand Paul ...

Two cartoons with a bit of a twist on life out on the range ... first from the perspective of the Bovine-Americans ...

and then from the cowboys ... the more modern of whom may not approach riding the range in the traditional way ...

And finally for this week, it pays to be careful nowadays, when even background checks on gun purchasers - supported by 90% of the public - are viewed by some as drastic infringements of their rights. You never know what rights you may be violating with a simple question ...

And so we end the first Cartoon Saturday of May, 2013. It looks as if it's going to be another weekend of fine weather here in Disneyland-on-the-Potomac, and for Agnes and I it will be the usual whirlwind of activity: getting up early tomorrow to work in the yard and the garden before spending much of the day with our local grandchildren, and then getting up early again on Sunday to take pictures and cheer for our friends who are competing at the Washington Open Dancesport Competition. These relaxing weekends will be the death of me yet!

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

A Rose By Any Other Name

You may have seen this article on the CNN website the other day - No, You Can't Call Your Baby Lucifer: New Zealand Releases List of Banned Names.

It seems odd that a government would have to step in and prevent parents from giving their innocent, defenseless children stupid names*, but it's apparently necessary in New Zealand, where you cannot name your child "Lucifer," "Messiah," "Christ," "Mafia No Fear," or "Anal," among numerous others. The New Zealand government's office of the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages maintains an ever-growing list of names that are considered inappropriate and are not permitted to be given to children.

Closer to home, we have celebrities who seem to get fiendish delight from inflicting stupid names on their progeny. Consider rocker Frank Zappa's son Dweezil and daughters Moon Unit and Diva Thin Muffin, or Bob Geldorf's daughter Fifi Trixibelle, or Gwynneth Paltrow's daughter Apple. And let's not forget actors Nicholas Cage, who named his son Kal-El**, and Jason Lee, whose son will grow up suffering under the name Pilot Inspektor.

It's not a new problem, either. During the Civil War there was a Confederate Army general named States Rights Gist ...

... who, had he been born nowadays, might have had that name proudly bestowed by some ultra-conservative Tea Party wingnut parent.

What, one might reasonably ask, is wrong with some people? Do they not consider what effect an off-the-wall name, perhaps selected while drunken or stoned (or both), might have on their child as he or she grows up? It would not surprise me in the least if somebody out there actually followed through on this naming idea (which you may remember from Cartoon Saturday a few weeks ago) ...

There are some pretty stupid adults who want to change their own names, too. The CNN report cites the case of a fellow who wanted to change his first name to "In God" and his last name to "We Trust" (a judge allowed it). Fortunately, another judge turned down another politically besotted fellow who wanted to change his name to F*** Censorship.***

Getting back to the banned names list for a minute, let's talk about the unfortunate and illegal (in New Zealand, anyhow) name "Lucifer." The name derives from the Latin word lux, which means light ... and actually means bringer of light. The unfortunate associations of the name came about when Lucifer was identified as the principal fallen angel, cast out of heaven for challenging the power and authority of God (Isaiah 14:12).

So ...

If you are expecting a baby, do the poor child a favor and pick a name that will be good for the child, rather than one which advances your own social or political agenda, or sounded good while you were stoned.

Someday, that child will thank you.

Have a good day. See you back in this space for Cartoon Saturday.

Bilbo

* The GOP would no doubt consider it a horrendous infringement of individual rights and shameful overreach of out-of-control governmental authority. After all, everyone has a constitutional right to be an idiot.

** For those of you not into comic books, that was Superman's birth name on the planet Krypton.

** There's also the old joke about the fellow named 6-7/8 Smith, who explained that his parents picked his name out of a hat.

Arms and the Man (with Apologies to George Bernard Shaw*)

Fluff alert - no deep thoughts this morning, just an aging boomer's fantasies (the safe ones, anyhow).

We're getting to that part of the year that is the favorite of those of us who admire the shapely female arm - the sleeveless dress season of late Spring through early Fall. Those of you who have been reading this blog for very long know that I am a great fan of the feminine arm, but what you may not know is that there are others who think long and hard on this wonderful limb.

Consider this article by Libby Copeland I found yesterday on Slate.com: Sleeveless - The Sheath: a Particular Brand of Female-Anchor Sexy. From the article ...

"The sleeveless sheath dress, now ubiquitous on cable and local news, and especially beloved by morning news programs, is as much a uniform for TV newswomen as androgyny was in the mid-’90s, when boxy blazers and short hair reigned." 

Yes, Dear Readers, there is a reason why many of the most popular television newswomen tend to wear sleeveless sheath dresses - they're 21^st century professional sexy. One of the reasons I can crank out my time on the elliptical machine in the early watches of the morning is the opportunity to see the news delivered by Diana Perez of ABC News ...

Followed by local newscaster Cynee Simpson ...

Poor old Walter Cronkite ...

How can you compete with today's news announcers?

Returning to the Slate.com article ...

"There’s a reason why the women of TV news have embraced sleevelessness while treading carefully in matters like cleavage (sexy weather reporters aside). Bare arms read as a kind of smart-sexy, a look that women in positions of authority can pull off. Michelle Obama is responsible for this, as are socialites of the Manhattan cocktail circuit, for whom bare arms long ago became a currency of wealth and fitness. MSNBC’s Mika Brzezinski and Chris Jansing are fans of the look, as is CBS’s Gayle King, and CNN’s Brooke Baldwin. Fit arms are about control, a state of poised strength you work at ... if cellulite and cleavage can read as sloppy, toned arms are the very opposite; they’re all about intention and control. Which is why newswomen get to show them off. They are appropriate for early risers and Ivy League overachievers—the sexiness of success rather than vulnerability."

Well, we could analyze this to death, or we could just admire the ladies who have beautiful arms and aren't afraid to show them off ... like the First Lady, for instance ...

She makes news, rather than reporting it ... but who cares? - she's beautiful.

Enjoy the summer. Ladies, thanks for sharing with the rest of us ... I, for one, appreciate it.

Have a good day. Consider that the right to bare arms is a lot safer and more beautiful than the right to bear them.

More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Arms and the Man had to do with the sort of arms beloved of the NRA ... not the sort of arms exposed by tank tops, camisoles, and shells. I like the latter sort much better.

Great Moments in Editing Returns Yet Again!

Yesterday was a gorgeous spring day, and today looks like it's shaping up to be the same, so why sit inside and work on the computer any longer than necessary? How about another collection of Great Moments in Editing? ... it's been more than a month since the last one, after all, and it's time to start cleaning out the folder of pending items. Let's get to it ...

Before and after photos can be effective advertising ... sometimes ...

Uh, that's okay ... I seem to have lost my appetite ...

Would the insurance company call this a pre-existing condition? ...

Editors are needed in television studios, too ...

Who do you suppose came in first, second, and fourth? ...

If you saw this episode of "Dancing with the Stars," you know what they're trying to say ... but I'm not sure it came out quite right ...

You know, sometimes I think this diversity thing can be carried just a little too far ..

He's a politician! How is this news? ...

I don't think I'd ever want a job at this lab ...

Finally, as mea culpas go, this one probably leaves a little to be desired ...

And there you have it ... our latest collection of Great Moments in Editing. If you are a teacher of English, rejoice! - your talents are clearly still needed, if not always appreciated.

I'm not sure yet what the plans are for today ... the weather is going to be beautiful once again, so if we don't visit with our local grandchildren, I'll probably don the old work-in-the-yard jeans and my funky floppy hat and spend the day working in the yard and garden. Either way, I predict sore muscles by the time my alarm goes off tomorrow morning.

Getting old is the pits, but it does beat the alternative!

Have a good day and a great week. Come back on Tuesday for more thoughts.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

I don't know about you, but I'm just about ready to pull the flush handle on this month ...

More than 300 people were killed when a sweatshop garment factory in Bangladesh collapsed and buried hundreds of workers; the mother of the accused bombers of the Boston Marathon insists that the bombings were faked (which will be news to all the people who lost limbs and the three who were killed); nearly 40 people were killed in a fire at a psychiatric hospital in Russia; faced with crowds of angry travelers and a desire to avoid inconveniencing themselves during their upcoming vacation, Congress passed a bill which ended the furloughs of air traffic controllers that had created large delays in air traffic; and in New York City, workers found a large section of landing gear, probably from one of the two airliners that destroyed the World Trade Center on 9/11, stuck in a narrow shaft between two buildings.

Come on, May ... you've got to be better than this. But in the meantime, we'll just go with the cartoons.

We start off this week with two takes on the old "wolf in sheep's clothing" theme ...

And ...

In an economy this tough, everyone tries to enhance their income however they can ...

Paging Mr Beck, Mr Glenn Beck ...

And wouldn't it be nice if the play-by-play for major league sports games was done by salary, rather than uniform number? ...

For this week's set of theme cartoons, we take a humorous look at the famous statues of Rapa Nui, or Easter Island, which have stared inscrutably out at the ocean for many hundreds of years. There are the irreverent takes on the statues ...

The idea Congress isn't the only group of large, dense, immovable objects incapable of doing anything ...

It's never good to disappoint the gods ...

It seems like this would be a legitimate question to ask ...

 And finally for this week, we come to the fundamental truth of all the "great" religions ...

And that's it for this week's edition of Cartoon Saturday. It looks like it will be another very nice weekend, weather-wise, which is great ... today Agnes and I will be traveling to Linden Vineyards with our friend Nadja to sample their new wines, and tomorrow will probably be spent being run ragged by our grandchildren ...

... but sore muscles never felt so good!

Have a good day and a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo