Voting Is Now Open for the 2023 Ass Clown of the Year!

I'm sorry if you came here looking for Poetry Sunday, but you'll have to wait - because today marks the start of voting for

The Ass Clown of the Year for 2023

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, today is the start of the two-week period in which you can cast your votes for the individual, group, or (for the first time this year) concept that best exemplifies the year's supreme achievement in ass clownery, and replaces the 2022 winner, Texas Governor Greg Abbott.

By Friday, December 29th (the announcement of the final awardee for the year, the On-Crack Ass Clown for December), I will have named 29 awardees in 2023, all of whom are eligible for the annual award. Of course, if there's someone I missed or someone you like better, you are free to vote for the write-in candidate of your choice. Here are the ground rules for Ass Clown of the Year voting, unchanged from previous years except as noted:

- Chicago Rules apply: you may vote as many times as you want, for as many candidates as you want. You may cast votes on behalf of yourself, your family members, your friends, your family members' friends, your pets, your friends' and family members' pets, or anyone else, living or dead. In the interest of fairness, I ask only that you not cast more than 50 votes at any one time for any one candidate (same as last year) ... just vote more often if you want to stuff the digital ballot box. 

- You may vote for any of this year's 29 award winners (the first 28 are listed below, and the last will be announced on December 29th), or for anyone else you wish. 

- You need not be legally authorized to vote in the United States. Voting laws don't apply to Republicans, why should they apply to you?

- No ID is required and there are no age restrictions. If you are concerned that the Russians (or Elon Musk, or the Chinese, or the Venezuelans, or the Italians (via satellite), or the Martians or one or the other political party, or the "Deep State") will manipulate the results to undermine the integrity of the award without such identification, consider that the fanatical supporters of Der Furor are already convinced that elections they don't win are rigged and will assume that any IDs presented will be phony, anyhow. And in any case, integrity is a quaintly outdated concept in today's political world in which "facts" require no proof or connection to reality. I worry more about my fellow citizens than I do about any external actors.

- Finally, because the number of potential awardees is so high and their qualifications so unquestionable, you again have the option to vote for ALL OF THE ABOVE, rather than a single winner.

- Votes will be accepted from now until 11:59 PM on Sunday, December 31st. You may vote by leaving a comment on this or any blog post between now and then; by sending an e-mail to der_blogmeister@yahoo.com; by sending me a PM or leaving a comment on Facebook if we are connected there; by text message if you have my phone number; or in person if we should happen to meet and you are properly vaccinated. If you choose to cast your votes in person, be advised that your candidate's chances of winning are enhanced if the votes are accompanied by adult beverages and/or desirable snacks (list available on request), or cash. Yes, it's bribery, but in today's political environment it's okay unless the other side is doing it.

I will provide periodic updates on the balloting as needed, and will announce the 2023 Ass Clown of the Year in this space on Monday, January 1st, 2024.

To help you make your choice, here are links to the first 28 Ass Clown awardees for 2023*, in case you want to go back and review their citations:

January Right-Cheek: The New House GOP Majority and Speaker Kevin McCarthy

January Left-Cheek: Ronna McDaniel, Mike Lindell, and Harmeet Dhillon

February Right-Cheek: Rep Marjorie Taylor Greene (R, GA-14)

February Special Award: Rep Marjorie Taylor Greene (R, GA-14)

February Left-Cheek: Fox "News" Corporation

March Right-Cheek: Rep Kevin McCarthy (R, CA-23)

March Left-Cheek: Reps Jim Jordan (R, OH-4), James Comer (R, KY-1), and Bryan Steil (R, WI-1)

April Right-Cheek: Wisconsin Supreme Court Candidate Daniel Kelly

April Special Award: Supreme Court Associate Justice Clarence Thomas

April Left-Cheek: The American Electorate

May Right-Cheek: America's Second-Amendment Zealots

May Left-Cheek: Florida Governor Ron DeSantis

June Right-Cheek: Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton

June Left-Cheek: Newt Gingrich

June On-Crack: Sen Tommy Tuberville (R, AL)

July Right-Cheek: Moms for Liberty

July Left-Cheek: Rep James Comer (R, KY-1)

August Right-Cheek: The Republican Party

August Left-Cheek: Vivek Ramaswamy

September Right-Cheek: Florida

September Left-Cheek: The Republican Party

October Right-Cheek: Michael Gardner

October Special Award: Sen Ted Cruz (R, TX), Sen Tommy Tuberville (R, AL), and the GOP Majority in the House of Representatives

October Left-Cheek: Rep Jim Jordan (R, OH-4)

November Right-Cheek: Thoughts and Prayers

November Left-Cheek: Sen Markwayne Mullin (R, OK) and Rep Tim Burchett (R, TN-2)

December Right-Cheek: Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Israeli Minister of National Security

Itamir Ben-Gvir, and the leaders of Hamas: Ismail Haniyeh, Moussa Abu Marzuk, and Khaled Mashal

December Left-Cheek: Speaker of the House Mike Johnson (R, LA-4)

It's up to you, now ... vote early, vote often, and make sure your voice is heard and your chosen ass clown is recognized for appropriate ridicule and receipt of the official Tinfoil and Toilet Paper Crown, which has been presented to each ass clown awardee since the 2022 annual winner - 

Although the run on tinfoil hats by the MAGA crowd and the panic-buying of toilet paper ahead of winter storms may lead to temporary shortages of raw materials, I'll make it work. 

Have a good day, vote early, and vote often. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Some of the individual recipients have won the award multiple times by being part of group awards. I have not detailed individual membership in group awards during the year in the interest of space.