My Book's Better Than Your Book

You don't need me to tell you that the world has gotten pretty crazy. One of the main reasons it's gotten so crazy is that we don't know how to respect one another any more, and there are a lot of reasons for this. One of them is the dismal state of the economy, which drives a wedge between the "haves" and the "have nots," encouraging jealousy and anger. Another is the poisonous "I'm right, and I'm never going to compromise" attitude of ass clowns on the political far left and far right. Another is religion.

Some scientists believe that the tendency to belief in God is hard-wired into each of us, as an evolutionary way of helping us make sense of a hard and unforgiving world. Philosophers tell us that religion gives us a framework within which to develop ethical and moral standards, and ordinary people fall back on religious belief as a comfort in times of trial and a unifying bond with other people of the same school of belief.

It also leads to some of the most outrageous, hateful, and divisive behavior we can imagine.

There are two prime examples swirling in an interrelated whirlpool of hatred and intolerance at the moment: the hard-headed insistence of a Florida preacher who plans to burn a pile of Qurans tomorrow to protest Islamic radicalism, and the hard-headed insistence of an Islamic leader on building a huge Islamic center (lately recast as an "interfaith" facility) about two blocks from Ground Zero in New York. Both represent the very worst in religious belief.

My problem with the major organized religions is, as you've read here often enough, that they tend to be exclusive and divisive. You are with us, or you are damned. Muslims believe that Islam is the absolute, final, perfect system of belief, and divide the world into Muslims and everyone else. Christians believe that there is only one way to eternal life, which is belief in and worship of Jesus as the Son of God and absolute belief in the Bible as God's word, and if you don't believe that, you are destined for a very uncomfortable stint in a very hot place after you shuffle off your mortal coil.

Everybody can't be right, but nobody can compromise on a belief so fundamental to their view of world and self. John wrote eloquently about this in his blog post titled What if They Are All Wrong? Absolute belief in a single and omnipotent God that has chosen the belief system of one group of humans above all others is a prescription for hatred and intolerance: I'm right, you're wrong, you're damned forever, and I know it's true because the (insert name of holy scripture here) says so.

I've said it before: a God capable of creating the endless grandeur and majesty of the universe and the wonderful diversity of life on Earth has better things to do than worry about whether or not men shave, women cover themselves from head to foot, people eat pork or beef, or worship services take place on Friday or Sunday. If we can't get past absolute belief in a single, specific, religious belief that's indifferent to others at best, or violently intolerant of them at worst, we're destined to keep living with morons whose heads are so far up their scripturally-sanctioned backsides that they can't relate to anyone else.

And we'll keep seeing it reflected in explosions, fires, and chants of hatred instead of choruses of Kumbaya. Which is sad beyond words.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Danger: Asteroids!

If you're a fan of disaster scenarios (earthquakes, monster wildfires, hurricanes, tornadoes, Congressional elections), this report on CNN this morning should appeal to you: Two Asteroids to Pass Close to Earth on Wednesday. This is an asteroid:

Yes, Dear Readers, during the course of the day today, not one but two tiny asteroids will slip past within the orbit of the Moon ... thankfully, without striking the Earth. Although tiny (46 and 65 feet, respectively), were they to strike the Earth they could cause almost as much damage as, say, the Republicans regaining control of Congress in November.

This suggests a course of action we can take to protect ourselves from the danger of passing asteroids. Here's my idea:

The President holds a news conference at which he expresses his strong support of passing asteroids and suggests a package of financial incentives to encourage asteroids to collide with the Earth. The Republican Party immediately springs into action, whipping up popular opposition to asteroids, blocking the President's asteroid-friendly proposals and instead proposing huge tax breaks for businesses and the wealthy. Small fringe churches plan to burn photos of asteroids and demonstrate at craters caused by previous asteroid strikes, while larger religious organizations propose building large and ornate cultural centers to celebrate the diversity provided by asteroids. Extreme right-wing commentators denounce asteroids as un-American and castigate the President for supporting them, while many locales declare themselves to be "sanctuary cities" for asteroids.

The asteroids, in disgust, veer away and look for another planet to strike.

Considering the amazing success that Congressional Republicans have enjoyed by working overtime to completely block anything proposed by Congressional Democrats ... and their masterful ability to avoid popular outrage for their behavior ... I think this is a plan with real promise for protecting us from the devastating effects of collision with an asteroid.

Plan B is to launch an enormous tube of Preparation A to shrink the asteroids, but I'm not sure it's technically feasible.

Don't thank me - I'm always in the front lines of your defense against deadly threats, regardless of political party or illegal extraterrestrial status.

Have a good day. Avoid asteroids. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

The Most Popular Things

Sitting in my Blog Fodder file for a few weeks has been this article from the August 15th issue of Business Week: The Popularity Issue. It lists the most popular items from various categories, and says something about the things we like. Here are a few of the favorites from the list (with my commentary, of course)...

Favorite Dog: Labrador. What's not to like about a Lab? They're gangly and lovable as puppies, big and playful as adults, friendly, eager-to-please, and loyal to an almost embarrassing fault. The only drawback is - as I can tell you from sharing the house with Nessa - that a Chocolate Lab sheds enough fur every three days to knit a new dog.

Favorite Car Color: White. What's up with this? How can white be the favorite color for a car? In order to keep a white car white after it leaves the showroom, you have to wash it about three times a day. And oh-by-the-way, good luck with finding your white-ish car among the bazillion other white-ish cars in the giant mall parking lot.

Favorite Item at Wal-Mart: Bananas. Get that potassium fix at the lowest possible price. Who doesn't love bananas?

Favorite Job: Sales Clerk. I wonder if favorite is really the right adjective for this one. Perhaps "most available" would be better than favorite. Anyone who's ever been a sales clerk (i.e., just about everybody) can tell you about long hours on their feet, dealing with rude and abusive customers, low pay, and yucky schedules. But it's a job, right?

Favorite Fish: Shrimp. Someone once called shrimp "the cockroaches of the sea." That's an unfortunate dis for something as tasty as it is ugly. I wouldn't have thought of shrimp as a "fish," but who am I to argue with the classifiers of the Food and Drug Administration?

And finally,

Favorite Vacation: France. If you like supreme culture, beautiful landscapes and architecture, and people who look down their noses at you, France is the vacation destination for you. My advice: visit the Alsace-Lorraine region. It's been conquered back and forth between France and Germany so often that the people are as much German as French, and you get the wonderful food of France with the organization and good manners of the Germans.

So, Dear Readers, what are your favorite things?

And now it's back to work after a wonderful holiday weekend. Sigh.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Sunday Up the River

As you will remember from yesterday, Dear Readers, Agnes and I had driven up to Pittsburgh for the Labor Day weekend to visit my Father. My sister and youngest brother also live in the area, and we'd also looked forward to seeing them. And then our son Jason and his family had driven over from Dayton, Ohio, in a surprise visit. Yesterday, we packed up the whole group and drove up to the teeming megalopolis of Franklin, Pennsylvania, to the fishing cabin Dad built for the family on the banks of the Allegheny River back in 1966, for an end of summer picnic blast. Of course, there are pictures...

Welcome to ... well ... our place ...

The view from the front porch ...

Hello from up the Allegheny!

My sister Lisa, Dad, and I ...

The kids discovered that a box fan, a few bunks, some sheets, and a few strategically-placed clothespins can make a pretty cool air tent upstairs in the loft...

The cabin is full of the little odds and ends that the family has accumulated over the years. What would a fishing cabin be without a Fishmas Tree?

Everybody had a job to do. Our grandson Joe demonstrates the proper technique for shucking the corn that went with the ribs we grilled...

And his brother Noah demonstrates the proper etiquette for eating it...

And, of course, there were the obligatory group photos. Here's Dad with three of the four sibs - my brother Paul, Sister Lisa, and I (our brother Mark lives in Florida, and wasn't there) ...

Our oldest granddaughter is Marcy, who is now 10 (!). She has boundless respect for her grandfather ...
Great Granddad is now up to 12 grandchildren and five great-grandchilden. Since I didn't bring my wide-angle lens (and the entire family wasn't there), we had to settle for two of the grandchildren (my sister's son Ed and daughter Elena) and the Ohio Munchkins (Noah, Marcy, and Joe). We're still working on the "get everybody to smile and look at the camera" thing ...

Am I a lucky guy, or what? Not only do I have the world's best wife ...

I've also got the world's greatest daughter-in-law ...

It has been a great weekend. The weather was cool and partly cloudy, the food (fresh corn on the cob, ribs, and Brenda's vegetable soup) was great, the scenery as wonderful as only a Pennsylvania summer can provide, and we had four generations of the family under one roof for a day. I got to see my brother Paul and his wife Brenda for the first time in several years (he usually manages to be working the wrong shifts when we're in town), and Great-Grandpa had a chance to oversee it all as the Family Patriarch. It really doesn't get much better than this.

Those of you who are among my Facebook friends can see more pictures posted there after we get home. For now, though, it's time - sadly - to pack up our things so we can enjoy one more breakfast with the group before we all hit the road home ...

... and wait for our next opportunity to get together, at Thanksgiving.

Yep, life is good.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Surprises

Agnes is still asleep and the hotel around us here in Pittsburgh is quiet as I tap out this short placeholder of a post. We need to be up and ready to go soon, as it's going to be a very busy day.

Actually, the day started getting busy last night.

We drove up here on Friday afternoon (through the worst traffic we've ever seen between DC and Pittsburgh - the normal four-hour drive took five-and-a-half) to visit my Dad and my brother and sister. Last evening we took Dad out for dinner...he said he'd been hungry for wings, so we went to the wonderfully-named Quaker Steak and Lube out near the airport. The wings were great, although I admit to passing on the ones so hot they make you sign a waiver before serving you...anything with a Scoville Heat Unit count in six digits is tempting fate. After dinner we took Dad home, then rendesvous'd back at the hotel with my sister and her family to relax in the hot tub for a while. After suitably scalding ourselves, we all went back up to our room to do some more catching up, and at about 10:30 my sister's cell phone rang...she said it was her son (my nephew) dropping by to see us after his date. She gave him the room number, and two minutes later when we opened the door to a knock, there stood my son and his family from Ohio! They'd driven all the way over to surprise us and see the Munchkins' great-grandfather!

So...

In a short while, we'll be meeting for breakfast, then heading up to a family picnic and mini-reunion up in the bucolic town of Franklin, Pennsylvania...where Dad will get to be as flabbergasted at the surprise as I was last night.

Life is, indeed, good, despite the best efforts of Republicans, Democrats, and assorted political, social, and religious ass-clowns to screw it up.

We're off to the races!

Have a good day and a safe and happy holiday weekend. More thoughts (and, probably, pictures) tomorrow.

Bilbo

Cartoon Saturday

The Justice Department has indicted six job recruiters in what the FBI has called the largest human-trafficking operation ever to result in charges in the United States, involving workers on Hawaiian pineapple fields; a woman in Vancouver was seriously injured when another woman, apparently at random, threw a cup of acid into her face; a fire which destroyed a mosque under construction in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, has been determined to have resulted from arson; and Mexicans are strongly objecting to an American's cartoon showing the eagle in the Mexican flag dead in a pool of blood.

Cartoon Saturday is back to help you over the rough spots of the past week, and get you ready for the week to come.

Considering our discussion over the past two posts of fixing Congress, this cartoon is very timely. And, sadly, very accurate...


We've also talked about real books versus e-books, and our preferences for one or the other. Here are two cartoons that tell the story well...

And...

We faced a terrible crisis at work the other day when we ran out of paper for the printer, and one of our staff wags commented how lucky we were to have gone to the "paperless office" concept. It's a good idea in theory but, like all such theories, it doesn't work for everybody...

Many well-meaning but clueless individuals seem to have a problem with asking potential lawbreakers for identification. I read a story one time about how a model for Playboy Magazine (no link, since this is a G-rated blog) got a check cashed by using her centerfold photo as ID. There are other ID options, too...

And this one's for those of you who remember Jimmy Buffett's classic song "Permanent Reminder of a Temporary Feeling"...

Cartoon Saturday is coming to you this weekend from Pittsburgh, PA, where we're spending the weekend visiting my Dad and the rest of the family. The drive up yesterday, which normally takes us about four hours, took almost five-and-a-half because of insane traffic. You'd have thought there was a hurricane coming or something.

Enjoy the traditional last weekend of summer, and do it safely. I can't afford to lose any readers.

Have a great weekend. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Reforming Congress, Part 2

Yesterday's post, in which I took off on a chain e-mail I'd received that offered eight suggestions for reforming Congress, got quite a few comments, most of them agreeing with almost all points. Heck, I even got something close to agreement from the Eminence Grise, which is almost enough to make me want to shut down this blog and quit while I'm ahead.

The most interesting comment came from - of all people - Mike, who took a break from his busy post-retirement work of putting up funny pictures on his blog and made this observation:

"We have term limits in Missouri. What we are starting to see is nobody filing for offices from some parties. I.E. there will be one candidate from one party running for an office. You would be surprised how many people DON'T want to be in politics."

Actually, I probably wouldn't be surprised.

Based on anecdotal evidence only, I think that there are a lot of people who would like to serve in some public office, but don't want to put up with the personal and political agony that goes with it. There are a few aspects to this.

First, running for office at anything above the level of school block parent has become prohibitively expensive. The cost of television ads, printed material, millions of annoying roadside signs, robo-calling equipment, gas (for driving around to shake hands), airfare (to crisscross the country), and a campaign staff to spin the news and manage the volunteer foot soldiers, is huge. Real People who might want to run for office literally can't afford it unless they sell themselves to the machinery of a major political party...and once they've done that, they've tied themselves to all the philosophical and political baggage that comes with allegiance to a specific party. Someone like ... well ... me, who sees some aspects of both "liberal/Democratic" and "conservative/Republican" that are praiseworthy, but is disgusted by the demagogues of the far left and right who have hijacked the major parties, can't take advantage of their political machinery and funding to make a serious run for office possible. And while we're talking about money, let's not forget that the Supreme Court (in it's astounding Citizens United v Federal Election Commission decision) has allowed corporations and organizations to spend unlimited amounts of money - anonymously - to buy elections. If they don't like you, they can outspend you with impunity.

Second, as soon as you decide to run for office, your life is no longer your own. Every aspect of your life, your family's lives, your friends' lives, your pets' lives, and everything else about you becomes fair game for every muckraking newspaper reporter looking to make a name and every blogger with an axe to grind. You will be publicly insulted and mocked, every word you've ever said or written will be used (invariably, out of context) to paint you in the worst possible light, and your every motivation will be ruthlessly questioned. You will get to see unflattering photos and video of yourself in vicious campaign attack ads. You will be unable to defend yourself against any of this because you aren't supposed to show anger...and because in many cases you aren't able to know who is funding those ads, because the identity of those who pay for them is protected by their First Amendment rights to free speech and privacy. In addition, the anonymity of the Internet allows anyone to say anything about you, regardless of truth, without fear of being forced to prove their allegations.

And once you've been elected, it isn't over. You will be expected immediately to make good on every campaign promise (no matter how ill-considered) and be villified if you don't. You will receive no credit for your accomplishments, and blame will be heaped on you for everything bad that happens on your watch. You will be hounded by all the people who contributed money to your campaign and are now looking for a return on their investment ... and when you do the things that satisfy those people, others will pounce on you for selling out to the special interests. And we won't even discuss the crazy people who will hate you because they don't believe the validity of your birth certificate, because you don't worship at the right church/temple/mosque, or because they're sure you are under the control of aliens from Alpha Centauri.

Oh, and as soon as you're elected, you have to start worrying about raising money to get re-elected at the end of your term.

Modern politics has become such an oozing swamp of money, political shenanigans, personal attacks, and twisted rhetoric, that I'm always amazed there are people willing to run for office. We have conspired to make public service something to be avoided rather than the honorable performance of one's civic duty. We've lost the Founders' original concept of citizen legislators serving short terms, then returning to their homes to let others do their duty. As Eminence Grise noted in his comment to yesterday's post,

"... Serving in Congress was originally considered a burden a patiot bore on behalf of his (no women then) constituents. Even the President didn't used to receive a pension--US Grant wrote his masterpiece history of the Civil War to pay his bills--and he knew he was dying at the time. Abe Lincoln served only one term as a congressman, because it basically sucked to be a Congressman in those days (living in a boarding house in a fever swamp)."

A "fever swamp." As good a depiction of modern politics as you're likely to find anywhere.

Have a good day. Do your civic duty, but be prepared to be personally and professionally attacked for doing it. But cheer up - Cartoon Saturday is coming to help get you past the anguish!

Bilbo

Reforming Congress

By now, Dear Readers, you are surely tired of hearing me bloviate about the shortcomings of our elected reprehensives and the superb job they're not doing of addressing the country's ills. But as tired as you are of hearing me whine, I'm at least as tired of having people forward me hysterical political e-mails with themes ranging from the relatively genteel Throw the Bums Out to the more bloodthirsty ones that involve Taking Back the Country (from whom, one wonders) and blood running in the streets.

Yesterday, my brother forwarded me a chain political e-mail that I nearly deleted on principle, but which I decided, on reflection, had a few ideas worth entertaining. It was titled "The Congressional Reform Act of 2010," and listed eight suggestions for reforming Congress. Here are the eight ideas (with the grammar and spelling appropriately edited), and my comments thereon:

1. "Term Limits: service in Congress should be limited to a total of 12 years, according to one of three options:
a. Two Six year Senate terms; or,
b. Six Two year House terms; or,
c. One Six year Senate term and three Two Year House terms."

This isn't necessarily a bad idea. One of the problems of the current system is that a relatively small number of very long-serving Members of Congress can wield extraordinary power based on their seniority. If they are in powerful positions, they can skew the entire work of the Congress. Remember Senator Byrd?

2. "No Tenure/No Pension: Members of Congress collect a salary while in office and receive no pay once out of office."

There's nothing wrong with someone earning a pension for honest work done. Tenure is another matter, wrapped up in the term limits discussion in point 1 above.

3. "Members of Congress should be required to participate in Social Security and pay Social Security taxes. All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately, all future funds flow into the Social Security system, and members of Congress participate with the rest of the American people."

I think it's ludicrous that Congress has exempted itself from paying into Social Security. Laws that apply to the average American need to apply to Congress as well. If members of Congress were required to pay into Social Security, they might take more seriously the need to ensure its solvency.

4. "Members of Congress purchase their own retirement plan, just like average Americans do."

As I contemplate the smoking hole where my retirement savings used to be, I wish that members of Congress could work with the same worries for their future that Real People do. This relates, of course, to point 3 above.

5. "Congress will no longer be empowered to vote itself a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%."

If I understand the system correctly, pay raises voted by Congress don't take effect until the next session, so there isn't anything wrong in principle with the current system. However, it would be nice if there was some way to tie pay to performance...

6. "Congress loses its current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people."

Perhaps members of Congress would take real health care reform more seriously if they had to worry about it the same way Real People do.

7. "Congress must obey all laws it imposes on the American people."

Amazingly enough, many laws passed by Congress do not apply to Congress. This is a travesty that needs to change.

8. "All contracts with past and present congressmen are void effective 1/1/11. The American people did not make this contract with congressmen, congressmen made all these contracts for themselves."

This one is a bit of silly demagoguery. There's nothing wrong in principle with a former member of Congress hiring out to make a living. Serving members should be prohibited from holding other jobs or entering into contracts which could result in conflicts of interest.

This is a topic that requires a lot more thought and serious discussion than I can provide in the half-hour or so I have to apply to it. We'll come back to some of these ideas later. In the meantime, what do you think? Am I off base with my comments?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Picking the Right Gift

When things are as bad as they are across the board (lousy economy, murderous religious bigots, hurricane Earl, Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars, etc), it's good to try to think about the things that aren't so bad. No matter how bad things may get, there's always some reason to celebrate. And there's an industry that has sprung up to take advantage of it. Would Valentine's Day have taken off without the support of the greeting card, candy, and florist industries? And don't you enjoy all those traditional displays of Christmas merchandise that start appearing in stores before Labor Day?

Which brings me to today's topic: anniversary gifts.

Someone has actually compiled a list of "traditional" and "modern" wedding anniversary gifts. You can see the entire list here, but here's a short summary for you so that you know what you're supposed to get for your beloved. Or for the person you haven't divorced yet, whichever...

First: Traditional - Paper; Modern - Clocks.

Second: Traditional - Cotton; Modern - China

Third: Traditional - Leather; Modern - Crystal or Glass

Fourth: Traditional - Fruit or Flowers; Modern - Appliances (yeah, fellows, she'll really like that vacuum cleaner)

Fifth: Traditional - Wood; Modern - Silverware

Tenth: Traditional - Tin or Aluminum; Modern - Diamond Jewelry (I wonder who was responsible for that update...)

Twentieth: Traditional - China; Modern - Platinum

Thirtieth: Traditional - Pearl; Modern - Diamond

Fortieth: Traditional and Modern - Ruby

Fiftieth: Traditional and Modern - Gold

Sixtieth: Traditional and Modern - Diamond

My advice: get divorced before the tenth anniversary, then re-marry (the same person, if you like). That resets the gift clock and saves you money, paper and clocks, cotton, and china being much cheaper than diamonds, platinum, rubies, and gold.

Anybody have any other ideas for updating the anniversary gift list? Viagra, Depends, and walkers are not out of the question.

Have a good day. Celebrate something. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

Would You Like Fries with That?

From the Department of I've Seen It All Now comes this short report from Time Magazine: Switzerland Confidential: Behold the Legal Sex Drive-Through.

Yes, Friends, the peaceful and bucolic alpine playground of Switzerland has found it necessary to make special arrangements for a particular sort of play. The staid citizens of Zurich are tired of looking out their windows and seeing all sorts of demonstrations of applied biology, and so the police department is looking into setting up "sex boxes" around the city. Each of the boxes, large enough to hold an average car and a small number of consenting adults, is designed to facilitate the sex trade by providing a modicum of privacy while hiding the less-than-savory visuals from passers-by. Here is what one of the sex boxes looks like:

While utilitarian, the structure just seems to lack the ambiance of the traditional bordello...

The article quotes wonderfully-named police spokesman Reto Casanova as saying, "We can't get rid of prostitution, so have to learn how to control it."

And if you need more information, you can get a unique perspective in the picturesque town of Skagway, Alaska...

And since just about anything I say from here on out will get me into trouble, we'll just leave it here.

Have a good day. Enjoy that visit to Zurich. More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo