Friday, January 11, 2019

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


Welcome to the first collection of editorial and signage gems for 2019 ...

Okay, but are they watertight? ...


For how long, and at what temperature? ...


I sometimes think Congress has similar requirements ...


Ummm ... okay ...


I can't think of anything to say on this one ...


And so is winter ...


Yes, I can see that. Sort of ...


Sound layout guidance is always good ...


I guess this would be a good reason to learn ASL ...


Well, it's certainly a contributing factor ...


And we're off and running for the new year! I hope you enjoyed this collection. Don't forget that I'm always glad to accept your contributions ... e-mail them to me at any time!

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when Cartoon Saturday comes back.

Bilbo

Monday, January 07, 2019

Thinking About the Next New Element


While researching the daily compilation of famous birthdays and historical events I publish on my Facebook page, I learned that on this date in 1939 a French physicist named Marguerite Perey discovered the element Francium, the last naturally-occurring element to be discovered. Every subsequently-discovered element has been identified using particle accelerators and nuclear reactions to add protons to elements that already exist.

I'm thinking about this in two ways.

First, Francium was discovered by a woman. At a time when we're pushing to get more women into STEM* careers, it's worth remembering that women have always been making their mark in science ... indeed, Mme Perey was a student of the great Marie Curie, the discoverer of the element Radium and the only person to win a Nobel Prize in two different sciences (physics and chemistry).

Second, the name Francium was derived from the name of the country in which it was identified (France, of course). I'm not sure what the formal process is for determining the names of new elements, but I imagine that had it been discovered in present-day America, it would have been named Trumpium ... because who knows more about chemistry and physics** than Donald Trump? And who is better about putting his name on things in big letters?***

Which leads me to another thought ... what might be the properties of a new element named in honor of Donald Trump? Would it be completely inert or have wildly unpredictable properties? Would it be a dense solid or a gas whose properties are difficult to pin down? What color would it be? It would surely not exist in nature, but would arise from the breakdown of other, more stable elements; indeed, it would probably work as a powerful catalyst for the destruction of more useful compounds.

Any other ideas? It's elementary, after all.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics.

** And everything else, too ... just ask him.

*** Well, until they become a national embarrassment, like the Trump Shutdown. 

† I'm not going for the obvious comment.

Sunday, January 06, 2019

Poetry Sunday


For our first Poetry Sunday of 2019, why not a poem in honor of the generic new year? ...

To the New Year 
by W. S. Merwin 

With what stillness at last
you appear in the valley
your first sunlight reaching down
to touch the tips of a few
high leaves that do not stir
as though they had not noticed
and did not know you at all
then the voice of a dove calls
from far away in itself
to the hush of the morning

so this is the sound of you
here and now whether or not
anyone hears it this is
where we have come with our age
our knowledge such as it is
and our hopes such as they are
invisible before us
untouched and still possible


With "our knowledge such as it is and our hopes such as they are," we creep tentatively into 2019. Good luck.

Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

Saturday, January 05, 2019

Cartoon Saturday


Welcome to 2019 ... which so far looks a lot like 2018 ...

Donald Trump's bromance with North Korean strongman Kim Jong-un took another hit this week when Kim gave a speech that echoed traditional North Korean threats; an intern at a North Carolina zoo was killed by a lion in her second week on the job; Germany officially adopted a third gender identity option - "diverse" - for use by people with intersex traits, while California's Department of Motor Vehicles instituted a third gender option for state driver's licences - "non-binary" - for those who choose not to identify as either male or female; police in Manchester, UK, are treating the New Year’s Eve stabbing of three people, including a police officer, at Victoria Station as a terrorist incident; and the US government remained closed as a result of the chest-pounding standoff between Donald Trump and pretty much everyone else ... and Trump said he was ready to keep the government partially shut down for months or even years until he gets what he wants.

This week, in honor of our Narcissist-in-Chief, how about a cartoon look at the "selfie" ...

I can see where that might get out of hand ...


Who needs a selfie stick? ...


Poor Humpty-Dumpty ... but at least he's got a wall, which Donald Trump doesn't ...


The medieval selfie stick ...


And the Victorian selfie stick ...


Update of the traditional one phone call ...


You had to know this pun was coming ...


The Evil Queen, updated ...


T-Rexes have more problems than you thought ...


Paging Oscar Wilde ...


And that's our first collection of cartoons for 2019 ... I hope it's helped you get your mind off the news, which is depressingly like the news from 2018.

Have a good day and a great first weekend of the new year. Come back tomorrow for our first Poetry Sunday of the new year ... more thoughts then.

Bilbo

Friday, January 04, 2019

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2019


We're into a whole new year of ass clownery! Yes, Dear Readers, just this past Tuesday we named our Ass Clown of the Year for 2018, and it's already time to designate our first Ass Clown for 2019. How time flies when you're having panic attacks for the future of the nation.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dear Readers, the time has come to announce

The Right-Cheek Ass Clown for January, 2019


and the award goes to

Vice-President Mike Pence


It seems hard to believe that Mr Pence has only received this award once before and never on his own, having shared the June 2017 Right-Cheek Award with EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt, but it's really not so shocking when you think about it. Seldom has any person occupying the Number Two position in our government been such a total non-entity, a potted plant or decorative print blending in on the office wall, a man whose only function seems to be oozing fawning servility while gazing adoringly at Donald Trump and defending his every pronouncement, no matter how bizarre. No other vice-president has been so often and so publicly undercut by the president he continues slavishly so support.

A vice-president is, of course, the second banana to the president, and has no Constitutionally-designated function other than to serve as President of the Senate*. He (or, one of these days, she) is generally chosen as a running mate for the president on the basis of political considerations** rather than demonstrated executive ability, education, or experience, and can't act independently or outside of the job limits placed on him (or her) by the president. The vice-president is, though, expected to be the senior advisor to the president, offering advice on matters both political and practical. Mr Pence, unfortunately, has failed on all counts to temper the worst impulses and actions of a president manifestly unfit to hold the office. If Donald Trump has been a disaster as president, Mr Pence has failed in his duty to mitigate that disaster.

Dear Readers, Vice-President Mike Pence is our first Ass Clown designee for 2019. Heaven help us.

Have a good day. Come back tomorrow for some much-needed laughs when Cartoon Saturday breaks into the new year. More thoughts then.

Bilbo

* Constitution, Article 1, Section 3, Clause 4.

** "Geographic balance" of the ticket, for instance.

Tuesday, January 01, 2019

The 2018 Ass Clown of the Year!


The People have spoken!

Yes, we've survived 2018 and its long list of certified ass clowns, and with the dawn of the new year comes our opportunity to designate the one Ass Clown who exemplifies the very best* of noteworthy ass-clownery for the year past.


This year, I encountered something I've never seen before ... negative votes cast for candidates who exemplify the opposite of the ass clownery this award dishonors. Negative votes were cast for Special Counsel Bob Muller and his Team, and for Journalists struggling to report the truth in an era of rampant falsehood. These votes did not, of course,  affect the final standings, but offer an interesting and potentially therapeutic point of view.

Before we announce the winner of this year's award, let's look at the runners-up:

In Fifth Place, with 28 votes - Outgoing House Speaker Paul Ryan.


In Fourth Place, with 27 votes - White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders.


In Third Place, with 42 votes - The Republican Congressional Majority**.


The Runner-Up for 2018 Ass Clown of the Year, with 58 votes - Donald Trump (despite, as a lifetime achievement award winner, being ineligible for consideration).


And the runaway winner - the Ass Clown whose consistent performance in a supremely hypocritical and utterly nonsupporting role garnered a total of 192 votes ...

Senate Majority Leader
Mitch McConnell


The American People*** have spoken! And, if I may say so, they have chosen wisely from a crowded and well-qualified field.

Have a good day and a new year better than the disastrous one we just left. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

* You should pardon the expression.

** I understand that the picture is inaccurate because - unlike the actual Republican Congressional population - it shows a large number of women, but it was the best I could do.

*** I use the term in the same sense as it is used by politicians to extrapolate overwhelming support from whatever tiny sliver of the American population agrees with them.

Sunday, December 30, 2018

Musical Sunday


I know it's belated, but Johannes Pachelbel, the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, and I wish you the happy holiday of your choice ...



Have a good day and enjoy the rest of your weekend. The new year is just one day away, and it's just got to be better than this one ... right?

Bilbo

P.S. - Get those votes for Ass Clown of the Year in! Balloting ends tomorrow night at midnight!

B.

Saturday, December 29, 2018

Cartoon Saturday


Welcome to the last Cartoon Saturday of 2018 ... heaven knows you need it.

I normally lead off Cartoon Saturday with a compilation of the worst of the bad news from the previous week. This week, the selections were far more depressing than usual, and so I have decided to just go right to the cartoons, with a focus on the theme of the New Year ...

If you're going to sue, you need to be more specific ...


Yep, this is Agnes and I ...


Truth ...


I need one of those calendars ...


I think I'd double-check, just in case ...


I guess you'd only need to make them once ...


Sounds right to me ...


Mine, too ...


This is how I usually feel on New Year's Day ...


Good idea for a head start on 2019 ...


And that's it for our last Cartoon Saturday of 2018. I hope these weekly offerings have helped keep you sane and laughing in spite of everything.

Don't forget your Ass Clown of the Year votes - there are just two more days to go before balloting closes and we name the winner. Here are the standings as of today: in fifth place, Kellyanne Conway; in fourth place, the Republican Congressional Majority; in third place, Sarah Huckabee Sanders; in second place, Donald Trump; and in the lead with two days to go, Senator Mitch McConnell. Make sure you stand up to be counted - vote now and vote often!

Have a good day and a great final weekend of 2018. More thoughts tomorrow, when we celebrate the last Musical Sunday of the year with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. See you then.

Bilbo

Friday, December 28, 2018

Great Moments in Editing and Signage


Here we go ... the last collection for 2018 ...

I really couldn't make this stuff up ...


Well, they found the right agent ...


I like a good sandwich, but ...


Bring your boneless kids on Mondays! ...


An interesting product warning ...


Why call the police? They aren't legally required to respond, anyway (see here) ...


I think I'll stick with my gin-infused raisins ...


I'm glad we cleared this up ...


I took this photo at a local shopping center ...


Stock up now for next year's giving ...


And that's it - the last collection of Great Moments in Editing and Signage for 2018. Don't worry ... there'll be a lot more of them coming in the new year, especially if you share them with me. Send your great sign finds to me by e-mail.

If you haven't yet cast your votes for the 2018 Ass Clown of the Year, don't delay! - the deadline for submissions is midnight on December 31st, and the winner will be announced in this space on January 1st. Chicago Rules apply, so vote early, vote often, and let your voice be heard.

Have a good day. More thoughts tomorrow, when we cue up the last Cartoon Saturday of 2018.

Bilbo

Thursday, December 27, 2018

How Will Future Historians Know Us?


As long-time readers of this blog know, I enjoy writing (and receiving) letters. Indeed, a number of you who have responded to my periodic offer of a hand-written letter have now become more-or-less regular correspondents whose letters I treasure.

Personal letters and diaries are some of the most valuable sources available to historians trying to document the march of time and events. There was a time, not so long ago, when almost everyone left a written trail of some sort, whether as letters, diaries, or journals. This was especially true of many of those who were the movers and shakers of history ... you may recall that the late George H. W. Bush was a prolific letter-writer, as were many other presidents. Our Presidential Libraries contain boxes of letters and memos, many hand-written or bearing written notes and asides, and those documents allow historians to piece together the development of our nation's history.

Unfortunately, not too many people write letters ... or much else ... any more. Cursive writing is seldom taught in schools, and recent generations have grown up in an era of e-mail, text messaging punctuated with emojis, and tweets that reduce complex ideas to 140- or 280-character bursts of capital letters and punctuation. My mother wrote boxes of letters to me when I was in college and stationed overseas, and I wrote boxes of letters back ... all of which I found in her things when she passed away. Someday, my great-grandchildren will have all those letters as a way of knowing why Bilbo was the way he was.

I got to thinking about all this again today when I read this opinion piece in the New York Times - All Text and No Subtext - discussing Mr Trump's reliance on Twitter for even the most consequential of presidential communications ... like announcing the precipitous withdrawal of US forces from Syria.

Administrations past left voluminous documentation of the discussion and debate that led up to major events and programs, allowing their successors to go back, review the documentary record, and - one hopes - avoid making the same mistakes others had made. One wonders what will be contained in the Donald J. Trump presidential library ... if, indeed, he leaves enough worthwhile material behind to establish one.

Although I love to write letters, I don't do it as often as I used to. I got an incentive this year when my oldest granddaughter went off to college and her father (my oldest son) was deployed for six months to an undisclosed location ... I tried (with moderate success) to write to them regularly. Nevertheless, as a retired guy I have more time available but more things I want to do, and so I find myself spread thinly among my many interests. I recently invested in a box of note cards as a way of trying to keep myself writing while forcing me to keep it a bit shorter.

Nevertheless, I plan to keep writing ... here, as long letters to friends and family, perhaps even as an occasional journal. If you want me to write to you, e-mail me your snail mail address and I'll do it, as long as you promise to write back. E-mails, tweets, and text messages don't count, especially if they consist of more than 35% exclamation points and capital letters.

Let's leave a tangible memory of ourselves behind.

Have a good day. More thoughts coming.

Bilbo

P.S. - I wrote about this general topic back in 2009 ... you can read that post here.

B.